Vogue

I have a secret pleasure. Vogue Magazine.

The full nature of this rather embarrassing pleasure presented itself last night when I was at Hollywood Video selling fruit with Sasha and Sarah. Bored and hungry, Sasha and I decided to go out to Wegmans, and grab dinner to bring back. Sarah requested a Vogue and a plastic fork.

About a quarter of an hour later, we returned with a turkey sandwich, a grapefruit, a cookie, a plastic fork, a Vogue, iced tea, and cold hands. Sarah, quite angry because we were gone for two minutes more than we said we would be, opened the Vogue and we read through. Sarah and I wrestled control for the magazine for over an hour afterwards, pausing only for fifteen minutes to simulate anal sex with Sour Patch Kids. It didn't go well for our customers.

Sarah: "Dammit, Mirko, give me the magazine!"

Mirko: "Stop it! I'm reading it!"

Sasha: "You're gay."

Sarah: "Why would you EVER want to read Vogue?!"

Mirko: "YOU'RE the one wearing a fleece sweater!"

And I shut up.

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Scientists to save 5,000-year-old embrace

VALDARO, Italy, Feb 12 (Reuters Life!) - Italy won't split up its Stone Age "lovers."

In a Valentine's Day gift to the country, scientists said they are determined to remove and preserve together the remains of a couple buried 5,000 to 6,000 years ago, their arms still wrapped around each other in an enduring embrace.

Instead of removing the bones one-by-one for reassembly later, archaeologists plan to scoop up the entire section of earth where the couple was buried, they told Reuters.

The plot will then be transported for study before being put on display in an Italian museum, thereby preserving the world's longest known hug for posterity.

"We want to keep can them just as they have been all this time -- together," archaeologist Elena Menotti, who announced the discovery a week ago, told Reuters.

Their removal will be a relief for archaeologists who had to hire extra security to guard the rural site outside the northern city of Mantova after the discovery made world headlines.

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