Change

Chilled at Bela's for lunch with Simon and Sasha, and played some Xbox. We ended up being late for French class, but so was everyone else. I love ACS. We are not a real school.

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I'm sitting exactly opposite the place I normally sit here. It's awkward, it's weird, but it's not as disorienting as I thought it would be. The orange couch is across the atrium from me, and there sits a man working on his MacBook Pro. I don't know why...I just prefer a window seat today. There's more clarity here than there is over there.

I've been feeling less than happy recently. I don't really know what it is with me, and what's making me so depressed, but it's this very...odd...confused feeling. And I think I know what it is.

Could it be? Could it be that I'm just afraid of change? Of growing up?

Of course, Mirko. It's totally natural. It's a very human thing to do, to be scared of shifts in your existential rhythm.

But it's not natural for me. It's not something I've ever had to be scared of. And I think I know why I've suddenly changed my mind. Recently, I had never been so happy about the way things were, and there was my mistake. I had become so settled in the world I lived, that when I realized that it would eventually have to change, I began to panic.

I want to offer myself a way to settle this. But every solution is temporary. I don't think I'll ever be so content again. It's not reassuring, but it's gonna help me accept it.

But me? Scared of change?

That's right. I am. I've very afraid.

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http://www.sculleydesign.com/ - This is some of the best art I've seen in a while. Some absolutely beautiful paitings and some just as cool graphic design. If I was a painter, that's what I would be most proud of painting.

ALSO...

Italy bans skinny models - I know all the health risks and shit involved if it doesn't go ahead, but I think it's also the destruction of a tradition.

Adieu, all you anorexic models...